Dear Little One,
It isn’t fair.
You are stuck in an environment that dims your glow and shames you for your uniqueness.
Anger is the emotion you feel the most from those around you and it feels like you can never do anything right.
You can. You do.
My little one, you are so special. I know it doesn’t feel that way, and I know that it feels like the world is a big scary place with no space for you, but there is. I promise, if you keep growing, you will find contentment.
You will find a home and a partner who sees and chooses you. You will become a mother, and begin to heal through parenting him with pride and intention.You don’t stay stuck and it is an immense testament to your strength that you keep healing and growing.
Despite setbacks, injuries, and personal catastrophes, YOU kept going. You have felt out of place everywhere you are supposed to belong, but it’s not you.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are not broken, but you do think differently and you will need to learn to socialize. It doesn’t come innately to you, but the effort you put into learning will make you a wonderful listener, and a fierce friend.Your life won’t be easy.
You will deal with more than your share of tragedies and personal setbacks, AND you will overcome all the obstacles set in your path. You’ll struggle, fail, and get back up again, and through it all you will hold on to your fierce kindness. That kindness will come to define you and you will feel proud that you truly value others.
Your empathy is strong, and practiced in a multitude of ways. It keeps you humble and grateful. But you have an uphill battle to get to that peak. You have a lot of unlearning to do, and many layers of self worth to uncover and build on.
You have to let go of your parents’ pride as the benchmark of your success, and define what a good life looks like on your own terms. You have a build up of shame to release, and it will keep you quiet and small for a while, but you will find your voice.
You might find this all really hard to believe, but you are so much more than eight year old you believes.
Your self image has been shattered by daily criticism and punitive punishments for human emotions. You’re unmoored as an individual and disconnected from your own passion. You’re living to make someone else happy and ignoring your own needs and wants. You have been taught to do this. You have been taught to be a martyr.
Martyrdom is not kindness.
Kindness demands self respect as much as respect for others. Kindness demands imperfection and compassion and holds on to self worth in the face of our perfectly imperfect humanity. But kindness doesn’t ask for self sacrifice, or self harm, in the name of helping others. And your worth isn’t influenced by how much you do for others.
My darling Little One. You have so much ahead of you, and I will be there every step of the way with you. We can walk this path together knowing that you will get to a place where you can walk with and know yourself. All those times you feel like you’re alone and unworthy, you aren’t.
I am there with you.
It is OUR thoughts and feelings that matter – trying to make your mom happy will keep you stuck. Only she can make herself happy. By spending time and energy focused on her happiness, you are ignoring your own needs and wants and, in turn, giving up your own happiness.
Who is looking out for those while you are looking out for your mom’s?
Without knowledge of and a focus on your wants and needs you can’t find happiness. And you deserve to be happy. All humans deserve to feel happiness, despite what you’ve been taught.
Much love, Little One. 💚